[ Blue Man Sings The Whites ] | |
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[ Watch The Birdie, Episode IV - A New Hope ] Well. That all went a little bit tits-up, didn't it?
And just to rub our noses in it, the Pontomac Drainage Basin Indigenous-Persons
go on to win the whole bloody StupidBowl, beating the bloody Kansas City bloody
Chiefs bloody 20-10.
There's only one thing to do in a situation like this, and that's fire Dave
Campo. Serves me right for hiring a defensive co-ordinator from the Cleveland
Oranges - my God, what was I thinking? Campo, who's served one miserable
year in Tempe, is replaced as our DC by former Houston Profoundly-Unimaginatives
head coach Dom Capers, who got the flick after leading the team to a
disappointing 6-10 record. Capers is primarily an advocate of the 3-4 system,
but it's my gut feeling that he's a good enough coach and good enough
man-manager to adjust to the 4-3 Cover-2 based scheme that is our bread and
butter. And so on to the retirees, and it's another bloody dull batch this year. Both Woodsons wave a fond farewell to the league, as does Brad Johnson, but those are the only real names of note other than... ...other than... ...other than J*r*me "Bloody" B*tt*s! HE'S GONE! HE'S OUTA HERE! Ding, dong, the witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch! Ding, dong, the wicked witch is dead! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! The Unspeakable One, He Who Is Not To Be Named retires as the NFL's 5th all-time leading rusher, and 1st all-time Biggest Pain In My Arse, and I think I can speak from the bottom of my heart when I say "J*r*me - screw you, and the camel you rode in on." But enough of these nostalgic reminiscences. Player progression is just sweet as a nut all round. Our receivers look even more promising next year after Johnno and Anquan nab 6 and 4 points respectively, lifting them both to a crazy 94 OVR. Macca continues his development with 2 points, up to 76 OVR, while the big winners on the o-line are LT LJ Shelton (+4, 88 OVR) and C Roberto Garza (+3, 82 OVR). Even older-than-Methuselah Jeff Blake gets a couple of points to continue is relentless, hopeless march toward respectability, up now to 85 OVR. On defence, there aren't any such dramatic gains. Pro-Bowl linebacker Levar Fisher is, predictably, the player who's improved the most over the year, his extra 4 points taking him to 83 OVR. Our top three corners - Bowden, Cody and No-Mark - each gain 2 points, lifting them to 81, 81 and 79 OVR respectively, while FS Dexter Jackson goes up to 88 OVR off the back of a 3-point pickup. On the D-line, our ends each grab 2 points (Calvin Pace to 83 OVR, Larry Dickerson to 82 OVR), while Wendell "Thicky" Bryant continues to mature nicely in terms of his play, if not his mental acumen, with 3 extra points taking him to up to 89 OVR. Looking good. Looking pretty bloody good. - It's that ol' devil called "contract negotiations" (as Billie Holliday might have sung had she decided to make a go of it as an agent in the NFL) then, and I find not one but two chaps holding out. Ungrateful swine. Unfortunately, as ever, it turns out to be two of the better players - DT Paul Grasmanis (10th year, 82 OVR), who had 9 sacks last season, and man-mountain left guard Leonard Davis (5th year, 97 OVR). Bottom line, both of these guys are too good to lose through penny-pinching, particularly with about $35 million of cap-space burning a hole in my proverbial. We sit round the table and get it done - Gras getting a 3-year deal worth $7.5 million, and Big Lenny making the big bucks - 5 years, $21.69 million. It's a lot to pay an interior lineman, but between-the-tackles running is our sword and shield, and Davis is a huge part of what makes Marcel Shipp's numbers possible. Besides, it's always funny when he pulls on a block and some scrawny little safety comes rushing up to the line of scrimmage to be met by something the size of the USS New Jersey leading the halfback into the hole. Running the Arizona Cardinals, you take your fun where you can get it. There are really only two other deals to get done - a glance at the potential free-agent pool convinces me that there's no way I'm going to get an upgrade for veteran MLB Ronald McKinnon (10th year, 84 OVR) this time around, so he nets a nice, medium-term, 3 year, $6.5 million deal to keep him on the roster 'till I kill him or find someone better. Our punter, Scott Player (8th year, 99 OVR), had a blockbuster season that really should have seen him in the Pro-Bowl, so 3 years at $4 million is chicken-feed to keep him in Cardinal red. Significant players given a hearty handshake and a firm goodbye? Well, the era that will become known to historical scholars as The Josh McCown Experiment (74 OVR, 4th year) comes to an end in Arizona as he demands starter-level money for non-existent performance. We'll try and grab a developmental QB in the draft, or failing that a cheap veteran to come in and back up Blake for a season 'till we can start grooming his successor. And 4th WR Jason McAddely (OVR 73, 4th year) is given his marching-papers. Nothing wrong with his play, it's just half-decent wideouts are ten-a-penny and his salary expectations are a wee-tad unrealistic. We lose a backup offensive lineman, a backup defensive tackle and both reserve tight-ends as well, but these are guys who're such who-dat nobodies I didn't even bother to note their names. All the same, we'll need to address depth at TE and on the o-line, and will probably do so in the later rounds of the draft. - Ah, the draft. The draft! Time of infinite hopes and possibilities, when any 7th round pick is a potential Hall-Of-Famer, when a team can go from nobodies to contenders overnight. Or, if you're the San Diego Chargers, the other way around. The first thing that any sensible GM does approaching the draft is to have a good, hard look at what his team needs. I'm not a sensible GM by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm going to do it anyway. NEEDS: SHUTDOWN CORNERBACK - Item #1, 2 and 3, this one. Our secondary is pretty deep, with servicable players right down to 4th on the depth chart. What it lacks is an elite player, someone we can shove onto the opposition's best wideout and fuhgeddaboudit. It's no exaggeration to say that the lack of a shutdown corner cost us an NFC championship berth this year - if we'd had a Chris McAllister to keep Rod Gardner's production even halfway sane, we win that game against the Indigenous-Persons. Seriously. Given that the "1 Special WR And Loads Of Dross" personnel model seems to be becoming more popular around the league, this position becomes even more important. RIGHT TACKLE / LINE DEPTH - Anthony Clement (OVR 79) is the weakest link on our offensive line - in our whole offence, really - since we addressed the problem at centre last off-season. He's not a disaster, by any means, it's just that he's significantly below-par compared to the other starters and, entering his 8th season, there's not too much prospect of that changing. It might be a good time to go looking for a replacement. In addition, backup is thin right across the line, so some later-round picks sunk into depth might be a wise investment. LINEBACKER - Probably the weakest unit on the team now. Fisher (OVR 84), McKinnon (84) and Thompson (79) are okay, but not much more than that, leading us to give up more yards to tight-ends and against the run than we really ought to. Ideally we're looking for a "Sam" 'backer with the sort of speed to let him operate in the cover-2. QUARTERBACK - All the more pressing with the release of Josh "Useless Tosser" McCown. Jeff Blake's career is in the middle of an Indian summer, but he's 34 and I'm kidding myself if I think he'll still have the chops to be leading this team in two or three years. The time to draft his replacement is round about quarter-to-now. TIGHT END - Freddie Jones (OVR 83) is the starter and will likely remain so, but he's 30, has only 2 years left to run on his contract and showed last season with his hold-out that he values his contribution to this team way more than I do. Given that we didn't renew the contract of either of his (useless) backups, it looks like an ideal time to go and find the future of this position. Given our offensive schemes, we'll prioritise blocking over downfield speed. With all that said, I want to maintain flexibility, so if a great player falls down the draft-board I won't fail to pull the trigger just because he doesn't play a position of immediate need. Unless he's a wideout, of course, in which case I'll probably have to pause for thought. But as a general framework, this'll do. - With my needs assessed, it was time to have a little glance at the free-agent pool to see what positions I could address there. And oh, halle-bleedin'-lujah, there's actually a guy who can help us right off the bat - former Seattle corner Shawn Springs, probably on the downslope of his career given that he's already 30, but from the point of view of a team with a great young spine of talent coming into their prime who only really need a couple of veteran additions to make them Championship-bait, the important thing is that he totes an impressive rating of 92 OVR. That'll be Free Agency Target #1, then. The only other decent corner is Fernando Bryant (OVR 84), but since he's not a significant improvement over what we have (and when you're not a significant improvement over what the Arizona Cardinals have, it might be time to consider a new career), it's probably Springs or bust. No real help seems to be available in any other position, although given that Travis Minor has regressed to OVR 70 in the offseason, I might have a look at 4th year RB Brian Westbrook (OVR 76) as a change-of-pace back and potential solution to our kick/punt return wobblies. So. Assuming that we can make a deal with Springs and so our absolute most important hole is filled via that route, that means the positions we'll prioritise in the draft are, in order:
1) Offensive tackle Right. Let's have a look at who's on the board. My scouting normally revolves around identifying who I'll be taking with my first three picks, because after that it's nearly impossible to guess who'll be left and who won't, so my normal practice is simply to roll the dice with whoever's left available with the highest predicted draft-grade and has no glaring problems in the combine numbers that I can see. "That's your whole plan? I like it. It's scientific." Anyway. To the actual impact-picks. We're drafting 26th in each round, but also have the Detroit Lions' first pick of the 3rd round following the mid-season trade of receiver Bryan Gilmore. An initial shufti reveals that there are:
5 tackles with a 1st round grade That'll be my 15 players to be initially scouted, then. A name that leaps right up at me is Tennessee underclassman Skip Benson (LOLB, 1st/2nd), who clocks a blimey-there-are-wideouts-who-don't-run-it-that-quick 4.38 in the 40-yard dash. Tre Stephens (LOLB, Pittsburgh, 1st) is slower but looks more well-rounded in his play, while Paul Hanks (ROLB, Pittsburgh - obviously the college finds as many good LBs as the Steelers do, 1st/2nd) is slower still but a monster tackler. All three go into the hat for the second round of scouting. Which is more than can be said for Jack Green (QB, Clemson, 1st/2nd) whose health issues take him off my draft board. Wayne Harris (RT, Georgia, 1st) joins him in the bin because he couldn't pass-block if his life depended on it, and presumably-no-relation Chris Harris (LT, Wisconsin, 1st) whose technique is good but manages just a piss-poor 24 bench reps. The three scouting spots freed up get assigned to three tight-ends with 1st/2nd round grades whose numbers looked good in the combine, in the hope that one of them will fall to me at the start of the 3rd. Of those three, I like the look of Jeff Sparks (Ole Miss), described as "muscular" and "one of the smartest tight ends to declare in years" (which, looking at Jeremy Shockey, isn't actually saying all that much). Kelvin Paige (TE, William & Mary, 1st/2nd) looks useful as well, and is probably more likely to drop down the draft given that he lacks glamour-boy downfield speed - or any speed at all, come to that. To my mind, he makes up for that with his terrific hands and tip-top blocking technique. Skip Benson confirms himself as my first choice at linebacker as reports warn that his strength is only average, but praise his character and leadership. Be nice to land him to play as a nickel linebacker in his first season, with a view to improving his tackling and replacing Raynoch Thompson altogether in a year or two. Meanwhile, Ronnie McCormack (QB, Kentucky, 1st) gets damned with faint praise as my scout describes him as "Kind of a Kelly Holcombe type". Marvin Goolsby (QB, Marshall, 1st/2nd) gets damned with praise so faint as to be practically invisible when he's called a "classic mobile quarterback in the mould of Chris Chandler". "Mum! Mum! Did you hear? They're comparing me to Crystal Chandelier! It's a dream come true!" The only player to drop off my board in the 2nd bout of scouting is Ty Haley (T, USC, 1st) after he's reported as being too slow for cutoff blocks. His place is taken by a guard from Michigan with a 2nd/4th round grade, because I like his name - Dewayne Divine. The final go-around with the scouts basically just confirms what I already know. My first pick is likely to either be either Russell Anthony (RT, Marshall, 1st), a pass-blocking specialist who's very strong and decently quick, Koren Freeman (LT, Alabama, 1st), primarily a run-blocker whose main strength over Anthony was that he interviewed better, or QB Ronnie McCormack. Second round will be a linebacker, likely either speedster Skip Benson (who was great at interview) or big-lad Paul Hanks if Benson's gone. Third round should be a tight end - catcher Jeff Sparks, blocker Kelvin Paige or Sam Davis (Pittsburgh, 1st/2nd) - the son of a coach who's a stronger, slower, less-polished version of Sparks - will drop far enough down for me to snag them Beyond that, it's the traditional Best-Player-Available route. Still, feels good to be going in with a plan. - Well, every single QB in the draft was taken before my 1st-round pick, which at least made my decision easier, I s'pose. In the end, I went with the long-standing Madden rule "If In Doubt, Draft The Brighter Guy" and took Koren Freeman (LT, OVR 74, 5 years/$6 million), who's a bit ponderous (SPD 32, AGL 47) and maybe could stand to work on his upper-body strength (STR 82), but nonetheless has the potential to develop into an outstanding starting tackle (RBK 95, PBK 84). Not a pick that'll set the world on fire by any means, but solid enough, I think. Again, the computer conspired to make my life easier by ensuring that all but one of my scouted linebackers were gone by the time we got on the clock in the second round. Luckily, the one left was the one I really wanted, and so we jumped all over coverage LOLB Skip Benson (OVR 71, 4 years, $3.8 million). As planned, Benson will play initially in our nickel-package, where his vision and blinding speed (AWR 73, SPD 89!) will make him an ideal linebacker for the Cover-2 scheme. To inherit the starter's job, however, he'll need to improve his tackling (TAK 62) and, the biggest concern, stay healthy (INJ 53!). Still, a potential impact player late in the second round - can't complain. The third round was cross-your-fingers time, because although we were toting the 1st pick of the round, the three players I was most interested in had 1st/2nd round grades. Luckily God is a Cardinals fan, and sitting there waiting for me is tight end Kelvin Paige (OVR 67, 5 years/$2 million). I'm convinced that Paige is going to play better than his Overall score, given that he's really got all the tools except speed (SPD 53) - he's strong, bright, has great hands (STR 75, AWR 65, CTH 70) and is a decent blocker with it. Time'll tell on this one. Past that it's lucky-dip and roster-filler, with no-one really raising their head above the crowd. Other than Dewayne Divine (LG, OVR 66), obviously. So we've got our future at right tackle and two situational players with tons of upside fitting into an already pretty strong roster. None of these guys are going to be making people suddenly declare us to be contenders or anything, but in a pretty weak draft-class I don't think we've done too shabbily at all. That'll do, pig. That'll do. - Ah, free agency! Specifically, free agency with a enough cash to keep Mr. T in jewellery for, oh, at least a week. This is the period that could make or break our upcoming season, and it's absolutely vital that I keep my head and just throw money at every player available. Which is how DT Shaun Rogers (5th year, OVR 90, 4 years/$16.22 M) ends up on our roster. Rogers is a bit of an injury-risk, and he's not exactly coming in at a position of need, but the bottom line is that we've got the cap-space to spare and if he does end up crocking himself we'll be no worse off than we were last year. Unsigned rookie Shane Bird (BYU, OVR 70, 3 years/$3.5 M) comes in to be the 4th player in the rotation at defensive tackle. Rogers, Bryant, Grasmanis, Stephens - not too shabby. But really, there's only one name we absolutely have to get on the dotted line - and we make it happen. Shawn Springs (CB, OVR 92, 3 years/$14.22 M) becomes a Cardinal - oh, YES! Come to Daddy! - and just like that our secondary looks an awful lot more impressive. He'll start, obviously, with sophomore Jed Bowden moving to the #2 corner position. Tay Cody, No-Mark Barrett and Terry Fair will compete for the nickel and dime spots in pre-season. Flushed with success, I celebrate by paying too much money for former Eagle RB/KR/PR Brian Westbrook (4th year, OVR 76, 5 years/$14.25 M) because I think he'll make a nice change-up out of the backfield and because, fingers crossed, he might prove to be the solution to my long-time special-teams return problem. Well, if you've got it, flaunt it, yes? With only one quarterback currently on our books, I was sort've banking on finding an unsigned rookie or 2nd-year player sitting in free-agency who could at least be trusted to back Jeff Blake up. No such luck. So it's a question of who's the best we can get for the least? Terrifyingly, the answer is serial-underachiever Brian Griese (8th year, OVR 73, 3 years/$5.3 M), last seen failing to beat the immortal Jay Fiedler out for the starter's job in Miami. Oh, well. Can't be any more difficult than trying to win with Akili Smith under centre, can it? He's in Tennessee. And an OVR 54. Since you ask. Charlie Batch (8th year, OVR 67, 2 years/$2.5 M) comes in to act as our 3rd QB, along with my fervent hopes and prayers that nothing untoward happens to Jeff Blake this year. Are we all done yet? Not quite. Filling in roster spots are two more unsigned rookies, blocking TE Bob Lewis (Jackson St, OVR 63, 3 years/$1.65 M) and, by my count, the fourth LOLB we have on the books in Edwin Stephens (Grambling St, OVR 70, 3 years/$3.1 M). Oh, and Jason McAddley (WR, 4th year, OVR 73, 3 years/$4 M) is re-signed about six weeks after we'd cut him.
So all in all, a pretty active free-agency period. Almost all the question-marks
around the team have been covered with the exception of quarterback, and we've
still more than $12M under the salary-cap should any hilarious disasters unfold
during the course of the season. Bottom line - there were only two stud
free-agents on the market, and we landed them both. Not bad going by anyone's
standards. Yeah. 'Tis not so deep as a well, nor wide as a church door, but 'tis enough. 'Twill serve. - Off to training-camp, and for the second year running the stars are Anquan Boldin and Marcel Shipp - who's responding to the presence of Brian Westbrook in camp in the best possible way, by getting his head down and just working his arse off. His hands, far from being the liability that they were in my first year with the team, are now a genuine asset (CAR 90). Boldin, for his part, looks absolutely unstoppable, making catches that Reed bloody Richards would have had trouble getting his hands to. The friendly rivalry between him and Johnno seems to be driving them both on - no bad thing. No bad thing at all. That's the friendly rivalry between Anquan and Johnno, I mean. So far as I know Reed Richards and Johnno aren't rivals over anything. Although Richards would have made a hell of a wideout if he'd ever thought about knocking the super-heroism on the head for a couple of years. I can see the ability to stretch your limbs to over 20 feet long so you can catch passes thrown miles over your head coming in handy as a receiver. Particularly if Kordell Stewart is at quarterback. But I digress, and we move on to pre-season, the fake games that are traditionally an extraordinarily accurate measurement of, um, how good your defensive backups are against other teams' offensive backups. Why you'd want to be extraordinarily accurate measuring that, I have no idea. Anyhow. Avaunt!
ARI 45-7 HOU (1-0)
CIN 28-38 ARI (2-0)
ARI 31-28 JAC (3-0)
BAL 14-23 ARI (4-0)
Progression, then, and the big movers are Mister Speedy Skip Benson, up 3 points
to OVR 74, backup tight end Kelvin Paige (+3, 70 OVR) and backup centre Antoine
Wade (+3, 72 OVR). All of these pale into insignificance, however, next to slot
receiver Shaun "Macca" McDonald, who gains a massive 4 points to take him up to
80 OVR. With Johnno and Anquan each getting a point apiece to go to 95(!!!) and
97(!!!!) respectively, that gives us the sort of receiving corps that's going to
have defensive coordinators phoning in sick on game-day.
The upshot, then, is that the list of starters for the 2005 Arizona Cardinals
shakes out like this:
Well, there's still weaknesses, that's plain for all to see, but by God this
team looks a lot more dangerous than last year's vintage. The only thing that
looks like it could knock us off-stride is the possibility of injuries, and even
there we've got better-than-average backups at most positions. But yeah. Not too shabby. Not too shabby at all.
(c) daniel roe 2004 |
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